General Tso's the Ukrainian way (A.k.A the awesome way).

So yeah, inspiration crept into myself, the ginger viking cheetah, and honey space bear today. We decided our first post on this blog should incorporate our love for chicken, spice and of course, Chinese food.

I had tried to make general tso's before, but it wasn't really a full-fledged effort. So after an intense afternoon of hacky-sacking, we stopped by our beloved ATB (lucky's style supermarket of Ukrainian notoriety) and picked up a few necessities, which included but weren't limited to:

1 Big bottle of Coca Cola
1.5 kilos of Chicken
1 Bottle of Soy sauce
3 medium-sized red-onions
1 package of white mushrooms
and a bunch of other stuff i'm too lazy to write about at the moment...

Back to the house we trotted. Once we arrived, we quickly dispatched to our tasks with great enthusiasm and fervor. I myself of course took care of the chicken and per usual, mr. honey space bear was dispatched  to the vegetables, rice and sauce. Like true warriors we fought with blades in hand, and in the end we conquered the almighty task of making General Tso's. The battle goes as follows:

Ingredients:
2 lbs of chicken cubed into inch by inch peices
4 red and yellow peppers
2 medium sized onions (red or yellow, we used both)
1 cup of green onions, diced
3 carrots, grated
4 small tomatoes, cubed
10 mushrooms or so, cut in half or anyway you want
6 cloves of garlic
1 hot pepper, your choice of color
1 package of ginger powder
1/3 cup of water with 3 tables spoons of cornstarch
1/2 a cup of soy sauce
Chili pepper, salt and pepper to taste (with a touch of paprika)
1/2 cup flower
1 egg
oil
2 cups of rice
1/2 cup of roasted peanuts

How we fought:
1. Cut Chicken in to cubes, break egg on the cut cubes and bread them in flower with pepper and chili flakes
2. deep fry that ish in sunflower oil until golden brown
3. Start simmering your onions
4. throw some mushrooms on those onions- keep simmering
5. throw some soy sauce and ginger powder on there (we did the ginger in small increments, per chocolate lion pirates advice)
6. start adding vegetables such as carrots and peppers.
7. Once there is a good amount of liquid in there, throw that corn starch with water in the mix
8. Add the rest of your spices, such as ginger, paprika, etc (you can improvise here).
9. Add  your tomatoes and green onion at the very end.
10. Let everything simmer for a few minutes
11. Get your breaded chicken that you finished earlier, dump those bad-boys in
12. Finish up your rice, throw all that goodness on a plate.
13. Most importantly, grab your coca-cola and grab your plate of food and go enjoy the crap outta it.
14. Go into coma-mode.

Now look at this:

That's right, you gotta have all four burners going to be legit.

Simmering veggies

You know you're doing it right when you roast your own peanuts in soy sauce and chili flakes. BOOM.

Chicken. 'Nuff said.

Mr. Honey Space Bear preppin' those veggies.

Boom. Eat it.

Домашний Ricotta and Spinach Ravioli: Part One

I made ricotta.  For reals.  It's super easy.  I used this recipe, but I doubled it because I needed more than 3/4 of a cup of cheese. Pictures:

 Milk and salt mixture on the stove.  Just pretend that I'm stirring constantly and not taking photos.

 Heat Level Medium.  

 Vinegar added.  Looks super yucky.

 I don't have cheesecloth, so I used a random bit of fabric.  Still worked out well.  Also, do this for about 5 minutes if you want a wetter consistency.  I suggest timing it by dancing around your kitchen to approximately 2 Mika songs.

What you need for homemade ricotta:  salt, vinegar, and milk (pasteurized, lots of fat).

Now that your ricotta has been successfully created, it is time to start making the filling for the raviolis.  This is going to be glorious, just wait.

What you need:

-225 grams frozen spinach (cooked in water until no longer frozen)*

-about 1 - 1 1/2 cups of spectacular homemade ricotta (dude, we just made this!)

-1 medium sized red onion, diced

-2 cloves of garlic, minced or pressed

-1 tsp salt

-1/2 tsp pepper

-1/4 cup of nice cheese, grated (I used a mozzarella masquerading as a cheddar) 

See?  That cheese wants you to think that it's cheddar, but it's really mozzarella.

Making the filling is a bit time consuming, but easy, nonetheless.  What I did first was put two bricks (225 grams) of my spinach into a pot of water and put that over some medium-low heat.

Next, dice those onions, like a boss.  If you don't like/want red onions, you don't have to.  The three reasons I used them for this recipe are as follows:  1) I love red onions like whoa.  2)  The market was closed yesterday so I couldn't buy good onions for cheap.  3)  The grocery store was selling regular onions, but they were a quarter of the size of the red onions, so I was all like, 'Nope.'

See my new knife?  I love it.  I won't break this one trying to open my freezer door.  Promise.

Now, saute your onions with two cloves of garlic.  Saute that nonsense until your kitchen smells like Heaven.

This is what Heaven smells like.  For serious.

Last step!  Mix all of your ingredients together!  Don't forget to strain your spinach and grate your fake cheddar.  Mix them really well because the ricotta doesn't like to mix with other food friends.

Resist taking more than one bite.  Remember, this is just the beginning.  At the end, we will have glorious raviolis.

Now for the notes on the bottom.  I will be giving credit where credit is due:  I used this recipe for the filling and I also plan on using it for the pasta.  I did add the onions, which the recipe did not call for.  Also, I laugh derisively at the idea of using a food processor or pasta machine.  Where the eff do I find that/how the eff do I pay for that nonsense in Ukraine?  I ask you, really?

Also, 225 grams of spinach comes out to be about 1 or 1 1/2 cups.

recipe by chocolatelionpirate (with some help from the internet)

*Will chocolatelionpirate succeed in creating glorious raviolis?  Will chocolatelionpirate have Alia over for dinner at the conclusion?  Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of Домашний Ricotta and Spinach Ravioli coming soon.* 

Rice noodles in Ukraine?! WHAT?!

On Monday, I found out that I wouldn't be working until next week.  This should have been awesome, but because I've had an entire month of waiting for work to start, I was a little bit frustrated, so I spent most of Monday looking at recipes and pictures of food online.  This put me in an even worse mood, because I still had an entire pot minus one bowl of vegetable bean soup left to eat.

Fast forward to Tuesday morning.  I found out that Alia, my site mate, is also out of work for the next few days and is willing to cook with me.  So, it's off to the bazaar for vegetables.  My tomato lady and the woman in the stall next to her see me coming and say, 'Oh! Here comes the little хозяйка (housewife)!'  I was then greeted with smiles and offers of fresh apples and tomatoes.

Upon arriving home with my bag filled with eggplant, zucchini, onions, garlic, and carrots, I began to can the remainder of the vegetable bean soup so that I can have it in the winter.

I ended up with seven of these jars.  Fantastic.

I tagged along with Alia to her English Club in the afternoon, so I decided that all of my vegetables needed to be chopped before we came home to cook.  I got those lil' guys sliced up nice and thin.

Back from English Club.  Time to start cooking!  Here's what we used:

1 medium eggplant (thinly sliced)

2 red onions (thinly sliced)

1/2 large zucchini (thinly sliced)

2 large carrots (thinly sliced)

1 whole chicken breast (cut into strips)

2 cloves garlic

150 grams rice noodles

soy sauce

teriyaki sauce (WHAT?! Yeah, Alia found it in Ukraine)

1)  Sautee your vegetables.  Zucchini and carrots should be cooked until just a little tender, then eggplant and onion and garlic should be added.  Also, add half of a small packet of teriyaki sauce (probably the equivalent of 1/4 cup).

Yeah! Colors!

Owning two frying pans makes me feel like a baller.

2)  While the vegetables are cooking, start cooking the chicken strips with a little bit of oil and soy sauce in your second frying pan.  What?  You only have one frying pan?  Then start cooking the chicken strips in some sort of cooking pan that is shallow.  Only cook the chicken about halfway.  You want it to still have a bit of pink on it.

Yeah.  Like that.

3)  Now you're ready to add noodles.  Wait, what?  You mean I haven't talked about the noodles yet?  Oh, okay.  Before you add the noodles and while the chicken is beginning to cook, boil some water and put the noodles in a bowl that is separate from the water.  When the water boils, remove from the heat and pour over the noodles until they are just covered.  Leave noodles in the water until they are a bit flexible, like al dente rice noodles.  You don't want to fully cook them because they will get mushy when fried with the chicken.

Awesome.  Also, everyone should have a purple strainer.

4)  Dump those noodles into your cooking pan/frying pan with the chicken.  Dump in the rest of your teriyaki sauce and a little more soy sauce.  Stir around until the chicken is fully cooked and the noodles are coated in delicious and are slightly crispy.  Your vegetables should be tender and flavorful now, too.  SERVE IT UP!  Chicken and noodles on the bottom.  Vegetables on the top.  Done.

Hooray for slightly healthy meals cooked with friends!

Recipe by chocolatelionpirate and Alia.

Spicy Sunday: Vegetable Bean Soup

Today is a good day for soup; wearing a jacket is unnecessary, but it is cool enough so that a warm soup belly is just right.  Just after breakfast, I decided that making a nice bean soup was in order, so, I made a shopping list and hustled myself over to the bazaar for produce.  And so begins the story of Vegetable Bean Soup.

This recipe is extremely easy, but very time consuming.  It's a good soup to make when you have nothing else to do but watch reruns of Friends and dance alone to Lady Gaga in your old Soviet apartment.  You will need:

1/2 kilogram red beans (dry)

3 large carrots

4 hot red chili peppers

1/2 kilogram sweet green peppers

1/2 kilogram onions

1/2 kilogram frozen or fresh broccoli florets

4 medium sized potatoes

1 small head of cauliflower

5 cloves of garlic

1 jar of peas

1 can of corn

1 jar of tomato paste

cayenne pepper (to taste)

chili powder (to taste)

black pepper (to taste)

cumin (to taste)

water

If you are me, you don't buy beans in bulk and don't have them on hand when you decide at the last minute to make a bean soup, so your first step is to simmer the beans in water for a few hours.  You can cut this time down by being prepared and having beans the day before and soaking them overnight (don't think this gets you out of simmering the beans, though).  The beans should be soft and slightly crumbly by the time they are ready.  Like this:

Do your beans look like that?  Good.  You are now ready to start chopping vegetables.  Or, if you don't spend the hours of simmering watching reruns of Friends and dancing to Lady Gaga, then you were ready to chop vegetables hours ago.  So, in whatever order you choose, begin washing, peeling, and chopping your veggies.  As you finish chopping each vegetable, dump that nonsense into the pot; go ahead, you won't regret it (unless you dump the broccoli and cauliflower into the pot.  Don't do that.  Wait until I tell you to do that.).

Your vegetables shouldn't been too small.  This is a manly, chunky soup and we don't accept teeny tiny veggies.

Don't cry.

Whatever you do, DON'T touch your face after this.  Seriously.

So, your vegetables are chopped up and added to the beans, huh?  Good.  Now, open the jar of peas and can of corn and dump those bad boys into your pot.  Done?  Good.  Add your spices and your jar of tomato paste (all of it, don't be a baby).  Stir that stuff up with a big spoon and get everything coated up nice with tomato paste and spices.

Mmmm... almost there.

Now, I want you to put water into the pot, just covering your ingredients.  Make sure to leave room for your broccoli and cauliflower.  

BAM!  Now that's just the right amount of water.

Now, simmer that soup for a half an hour.  Feel free to start cutting up your cauliflower.  If you finish in under half an hour, you can dance again, and that's a win-win situation.  

At the end of your dance break, check the consistency of the potatoes and carrots.  Are they soft?  Good.  Feel free to add your broccoli and cauliflower.  Are they still crunchy?  Don't add the last vegetables.  Keep simmering.

After the addition of the broccoli and cauliflower, simmer the soup for another half hour or until the broccoli is tender but not mushy.  It should look something like this:

Finally!  You can stop dancing, put that awesome soup in a bowl, and get down to eating.  It will be spicy, so have some tissues on hand.  The tissues can also come in handy for those tears of joy you are crying because this soup is so delicious.

Recipe by chocolatelionpirate